Are you hip to the new office vernacular? These are the new words/phrases to keep up with if you want to make it in the corporate world!
BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS - The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
CUBE FARM - An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to applause from a promotion because there may be cake.)
MOUSE POTATO - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
SITCOM's - Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".
STRESS PUPPY - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
OHNOSECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake (e. g. you've hit 'reply all').
JOHNNY-NO-STARS - A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.
SALMON DAY - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
CHAINSAW CONSULTANT - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the brass with clean hands.
FLIGHT RISK - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.
KEYBOARD PLAGUE - The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards.
YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS - the ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal: "We all owe $8 each, but all anybody's got is yuppie food stamps."
SWIPEOUT - An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
IRRITAINMENT - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.